Ares Doesn’t Love You


It’s okay though, he doesn’t love me, either. 99% sure on that one. “Well aren’t you just a Negative Nancy?” you may say. Perhaps I am. But why is it so important to us that the gods love us measly little mortals?

People want to be wanted and need to be needed. Cheap Trick were really on to something when they wrote that song. It’s just who we are as social creatures. It only follows that we wish the most powerful being known to us–the Gods– love us. After all, we (well, most of us, you silly atheists) love them. Some of us love them a bit too much, perhaps. But hey, our love of them has spawned some of the most beautiful, awe-inspiring monuments, literature, and even acts on this planet. Granted, it also spawned some lovely, f**ked up stuff, too, but we’ll skip over that for the sake of moving along nicely.

Now, my answer, personally, is that with rare exceptions, the gods couldn’t even be bothered to give a damn. It’s not even that they may harbor any real ill-will towards us (except maybe Ares and Zeus, but more on that later), but running an entire cosmos is busy work, and who really has time to bother with such petty trifles as human love, happiness, or money? But what about their responsibility for human affairs you say? Honestly, after the whole of human history of Athene teaching men to build, or Zeus judging righteousness, that has got to get old.

Remember the flood myth? You know, where Zeus decided everyone was a douche and told humanity to kindly go f**k itself? It’s a really common myth across various cultures. Oh, and remember how Prometheus (who is such a dreadful, self-righteous prat in “Prometheus Bound btw) got punished for helping out humanity in the first place, and then the gods punish man by creating women? If the mythographers and poets are to be even the least bit believed, then it’s pretty clear to me that the gods hold a grudge.

That’s not to say we can’t entertain the gods from time to time. Ares loves war. He is literally called Insatiate of Battle and the Bringer of Tears by Homer and Aeschylus  respectively. And Aeschylus liked Ares!  It really wouldn’t surprise me if Ares sits around Olympus until he gets bored and then goes off to whisper some bloodthirsty nothings in some poor mortal’s ear, who then promptly goes out and kills someone, simply for the amusement of a god. As I’ve said before, and been called as blasphemer for, no less–Ares is a dick sometimes.

Does this lack of love for humanity mean we shouldn’t pay the gods their due honors? Hell no. They are gods, and should receive their due whether they like us or not. I can dislike  my president or governor  (I actually love my governor, he’s awesome) or whatever, but I still pay taxes, because that’s how it works. They are in charge, and that is the pecking order. The gods are at the very top of the cosmic pecking order. Don’t sweat it if you don’t feel Olympic glory raining down on you and filling your butt with sunshine. It’s probably nothing personal. And hey, you’re alive right? That should at least mean none of the gods dislikes you 😉

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6 comments on “Ares Doesn’t Love You

  1. J_Agathokles says:

    Jesus LOVES you. Ares demands you grow the fuck up.

    • Kathryn says:

      That sounds exactly right. I always thought it was incredibly unrealistic for all these other belief systems to claim that their God loves them, no matter what. Really? Even if you’re lazy, or hubristic, or mean-spirited, your God is still all buddy-buddy with you? Even when you don’t deserve it and haven’t earned it? Jesus sounds like a really horrible judge of character sometimes.

    • erranthippo says:

      Love this!

    • ladyimbrium says:

      Sounds about right.

    • kilokean says:

      Hilarious, only in that while I was reading this I couldn’t stop singing hearing “Loki loves me this I know, for the Scoundrel tells me so…” to the tune of Jesus loves me as I read this piece.

  2. kilokean says:

    I think you have a rather limited view on what the Gods are capable of. Why do we care about the things we care about? The people? Sometimes simple interest. Sometimes boredom. Sometimes we just fall in love and I think They do as well. Limiting Gods to passionless creatures of universal drudgery doesn’t make much sense.

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